FaDe.AwAy.Run.Away.GeT.aWaY.bReAk.AwAy

You

2005-08-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

Its been a week....cant tell how lucky i am to have found u..dont let it go away
thanks for making school a motivation

=

2005-08-15T04:59:00.000-07:00

I can smile these days

2005-08-15T04:58:00.000-07:00

confessions

2005-07-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

so many things happened this week...so many confessions made...so many things said...dun wanna be in a relationship now...i thk the prob lies with me..im afraid i cant really commit... its so sad...we are so awkward to face each other...but in sms like known each other for years...
but at least have a reason to go to school...i feel like both of use are such amateurs....kinda cute la...but i really wanna good conversation as well...but based on recent situations...its impossible...i thk i'd prob turn all red...

well ok good nite...byebbye so tired

u're so different
u're so new
u're just like me

REGYNNA'S BDAY!!!!!

2005-07-16T22:37:00.000-07:00

happie burfday to reg...(times 3) happie burfday to you!
i love you regynna!!!!!!!!!!!!! as a fren...

so happy to see everyone today...it was such a HUGE crowd....love the girls as always...coz i really really miss the crazy times...well i thk i was the most crazy one...so many of the dudes went..in total 22 peeps!!!

i seriuosly thk they seriuosly thk im crazy

oh b4 tt...had a performance for the racial harmony day in school...after all the hard practises (sort of) staying back late everyday....or efforts paid off
thk we did a gr8 job...the dancers in the dance club were so good too!

hmmm i noe how to do a basic freeze! so proud of myself...!
thx to edison and roy for their patience...there was once i held on for 6 secs...
woohoo...den ah...tml hip hop class can impress my instructor...jk

sooo busy...haven touched on ANY work...so tired! slp at ard 8 -10 till the nex morn everyday...so shiok...nex wk must start liao!

oh had pylos pizza yesterday nite....love my clan!..we rock...had lotsa laffs n fun...n dumb stuff...kept singing with jansen n abby hahhaah...den i learn ABIT of guitar...

damn..i wanna perform..i must..i will

k i gtg soon bye bloggie

life

2005-06-30T23:19:00.000-07:00

wad a topic huh....life....
had 3 bloody tests today
gonna fail org. chem....maths hope can pass but cannot hope for hopeless hope...GP..please pass me for my language if all esle fails
wahhh tml bio test! essay somemore...
den got ao level chinese...abit sad ah
how time fliessssss................so fast and turbulent...next moment b4 u noe it...its mY A LEVELS....shit

been thking alot these days...in reflections and keeps me learning...(irritating kelvin keep interrupting my thoughts) while im writing sucha solemn entry

anyway...gtg ! bybey nite ntie...dead tired...just recov. from a bout of infection

if we met tommorow for the very first time

new crush =p

2005-06-25T06:19:00.000-07:00

ok...here goes...
arh!!! i have a new crush!!!waahahaha shhhh...he's bruce wayne!!!! (batman in other words) ehehehe....so man! just like constantine =) and john smith...nya hahaha (cant help it these actors are just so....) anyway the movie was gd...watched it with jasmine n marina...hahhaah...very noisy combination...and christian bale is my fav batman...so macho...lol

k sorry for the overreactions

the next day went out shopping with my mama at OG...bought 5 pieces of blue corner's clothes...ma's happy coz there's 25% discount...ha...women...but thanks to mummy dear..

wad esle...arh...stuck at hme doing hw after tt...sort of la...hehe...oh read really interesting books at jas's home...read abt the world's greatest unsolved crimes (murders)...fantastic freaks...and ghosts...freaky...scardy cat me...cant slp even when i stayed over...wahhhaa

arh..did evolution and ecology tutorials...how interesting and cant conc in reading enzymes and proteins yucks...o anyway gtg byebye!

new look!

2005-06-21T09:40:00.000-07:00

k cut my hair today =) love the hairstyle..went to kimage to cut...with mom..only abt $30??? coz got all the dunoe bloody discounts..ha
bought a pair of new shoes( FINALLY!) the sight of tt sole-less shoe just makes me sick to the core...hahahah... this is nice...all silvery and grey...ok anyway...my mom bought herself new clothes too..(she so happy)
went with jasmine the whole time...we went ice lemon tea to look at clothes...picked out this super nice skull head razor back....there;s also chains on it..how cool is that?! but my mom din wanna buy it 4 me coz its apparantly too exposed...huh? so anyway..jas bought it which i thk looks better on her coz her skin colour is tanner =)

ya den tts abt it...both studied...wahaha..like real...shit...hws all not done finish..not to mention studying any test...woohoo...good luck yina

LALALALA

2005-06-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

nth's up recently...oh yea have
after my hip hop with qiyun i went out with wen er..
been clse to qy recently...told her my secret abt haha...nvm...its so sad...even when i tok abt it...even after 1 yr plus...dunoe y its still there no matter the pple hu entered my life...she wanna create chance but the thing is...the fear is always there...and it has worsened...COZ OF SOME ASSHOLE who CLAIMS NOT all guys are like that but he himself is the WORST..lets not say names shall we...since i was as insignificant and unimportant and used and substituted ya?

anw...met up with wener...i SWEAR I feel her pain so well...i can just BE HER...coz its so similar but differrent in 'settings'...WHY...issit us...all the time...how heartless can these pple be...how can they just come n go like dat..her experince just triggered a deja vu into me...just a very short impromtu poem

empty words so easy to define
promises like paper peices torn apart so fine
wadever the use of screening the lies
when blindness lead us to defy

who gives a damn about the rules
only those who play by it become fools
excuse me, i mistook you for someone esle
someone who gave a shit abt u called Myself

screaming through her veins he nvr heard her
stabbing through her skin he continues to speak
the string in her broke finally to her relief
therein lies a face a soul he would never believe

complacent loser he was but nvr to admit
every heart broken was a thrill for his fits
gleefully lying through his whitened teeth
he supposed his smooth operation went easy

How can he hide the colours behind the paper
when all has stretched so thin to savour
Unwittingly twisted his reasons again
Unhappy of the truth i had obtained

sometimes...they just need to noe hu they're lying to...definitely not me

HOLIDAY

2005-06-15T07:25:00.000-07:00

ok went to KL...
stayed in Cam's place for 1st 2 nights with her
so fun...well...haha broke some ''rules'' but to hell with it...
1. drank alcohol...
(white russian with milk is bloody good, only 4%)
2.drank bailey's (17%...wth...)
had a throbbing head after the 2nd mug
3. had something esle
plus ate kinda buenos...i swear...if i din down a bottle of water, i will have a fever in no time
4. if i had drank more...i'd probably have a hangover the next day
anyway..slp at 3 plus in da morn

2nd day
went shopping..wanna buy wth for my mom...mascara..but not enuff $$..bought a blusher for jas..silly ger broke hers
clothes there are nice btw..quite cheap too
had a really interesting lunch..cam's parent brought me n my parents...all the food was cooked in tea hmm...yum
watched lots of videos which cam danced in...she's such a pro dancer...so envious

watched 2 movies at night on her com...slp at 5 in the morn...

3rd day..
watch mr n mrs smith again...with cam n her bf jon...yaya...extra...
ate at chili's(wonder y sg doesnt have a branch) ..this chicken wrap thing..its all DIY...mine was like the biggest amt of food...(not surprised)

4th day...
arh...last day...came home. to sg...bleahhhh

Mr n Mrs Smith rox

2005-06-10T22:11:00.000-07:00

guess it? yup watched it today...woohoo so fun man...with marina...i dun mind watching it again...such a FUNNY show...very hot couple ah...=)

anyways...i went to my PRI sch outing on wed! ahah there was jiayi, sarah, ivan tan and sim and zeming =) we went fish n co to makan...the Q was so long (as in we had to wait realy long) we had 2 go outside...coz the guy singing was..nvm and jiayi was cold haha

they haven changed much actually...was happy to see all of them....it was a small crowd...we expected like 10 to 15 pple? there shud be pple likle Sarina,luck sin, winshen, jody..hu esle? i wonder if i can recognise all of them ya =)

we went to a pub in esplanade..wow.. the setting is nice...so are the prices for the drinks...i wonder how come we could get in...hmmm jiayi,...not bad ah...red nails

ok update more next time....my dear jasmine is here =)

extracts from SimpLe Kinda LifE by (da beX SKA band NO DOUBT)

2005-06-07T09:26:00.000-07:00

With a friendship that no one else could touch,
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells...
And all I wanted was the simple things,A simple kind of life,

I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean,
I don't know how it got to this point,
I always was the one with all the love,
You came along, I'm hunting you down

Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight,
And all I wanted was the simple things,A simple kind of life...

(If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again?
Would I try to make you mine?)

Sometimes I wish for a mistake,
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get,

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life,
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things,A simple kind of life...

HaPpY BiRtHdAy DaDdY

2005-06-05T22:02:00.000-07:00

Dear DaDdY,
I juat wanted to let my Daddy know that he is e best man alive i've known
Thank you and I LOVE YOU!

HaPpY BiRtHdAy!

2005-06-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

=)
Wwhoo hoo the most happening clan alive..(us) went to Sentosa 2day....i went there on my own coz i had TKD training in the mornin..blah! anyway... i found my way la...duh...but the ride so soooo freaking long..i slp throughout...abit blur ah abt the directions n stuff but ya...i found my way to Palawan beach....I went into da water with veron..most of da time...i was buried...after Khalis...2 kiddos helped with the burying job...wahaha
its so nice just lying there n feeling the salty water rush against you...so fun...very relaxing...
after tt we went harbourfront coffee shop for dinner....Sus came with us...feel really happy for him and his band for making it to finals! SO sad gtg home earlier with veron...missed TCS...qiyun defy mum sia...veron n i had to go to the toilet wahahaa

talked to veron a lot about life...she told me lots of stuff too...she's one of my close frens as well =)

went online toked to Shao wei n edison abt the sch of rock thing...argh! we need a bassist and another guitarist...how 2 find man..
Had a conversation with Ivan(pri sch fren) he and his band were looking for a keyboardist...he intro me to emo rock...a whole new genre of songs...very refreshing...hope we can jam together asap man...
Lots of talkabout tns 6E outing...cant wait!

More updates!

2005-06-02T01:15:00.000-07:00

sorry bloggie..din update for like 2 days...so many things happen!

Tuesday
K i was feeling in a daze when i woke up...den hanged ard in the house until i wait for Marina to give me a call...so we i went Woodlands to meet her...took 168 to TEMASEK POLY....my goodness...it was a 1 and a half journey in total...sit until butt pain...
finally we met Nurulia...When i stepped into the compound...OMG i fell in love with that place ... its SO NEW...SO FRESH...SO HAPPENING...the DJ was like blasting the music...(i tot it was part of the culture den nurulia tell me is cca) but its still so cool la... its so much diff from the other polies i noe of... me and marina look like some sua ku there...k anyway...they got a vending machine for sandwiches! and a cafe! (see wad i mean) we ate ice creams and blended drinks from the cafe...hmmm the thing is: they are almost everywhere u turn...
we went tampanies (duno how to spell) mall...went to many many many shops...suddenly feel like being a 100% girly girl..i wonder why....oh wells..guess its part of growing up....caught up alot with Nur n Marina...hope to catch up more with Regynna and Wen Er and Amanda...

Wednesday
Reached sch late....as in 45 min late..by the time i went to the lecture, it was almost over...good job yina...=S Arenes...k la not as bad as ALKANES...wtH...
We were supposed to have class outing...den so mamy pple cannot make it...so sad...wanted to watch Amytiville Horror with Rezzy...but nvr..so we went to LOT 1..Let's Eat..I mean the name of the restaurant... $5 student price for set meal..main dish...drink n dessert(kueh) not bad la..worth it....eat until quite full

Tot i was gonna go HOME...thank god Marina called me out...den Reg also...unfortunately...i was on my way to Marina...its ok...i'll catch up with Reg one day! So we were walking aimlessly in town...(oh i forgot to tell marina i was in woodlands so we can be on the same train...but i was as blur as ever...so she missed me...haha) neways...we were like : ''so..why are we here?er... wanna watch movie? see first lor....go walk first la..ok...''
yah tt sort of thing...we walked in cineleisure and saw KINGDOM OF HEAVEN tickets selling fast...so we grabbed the chance...there was only the front row left...URGH..its either take it or leave it..its gonna stop screening soon..
didnt regret watching it..somewhat like Troy..but i guess after watching Troy...it seems tt its still the bez....
luckily we chanced upon the timing of K.O.H...or esle it would be like not watching Phantom of the Opera..so sad...cant get over the loss...same for Mar too....

Evening...went to kenneth's bbq...saw Ying n Lixin!!! HEHE...my comfort zone peeps...ate so much food.....chicken wings...crab stick..hot dogs..and his very own cheesecake...not bad eh...=) was the marinator...put so much margarine on the food...until ching was like: U WANT US TO DIE IZZIT?! sorry gurl....im an unhealthy eater...=D
haha toked abt all the weirdo teachers in sch....realised i was the only one taking Bio there..oh wells we are all connected in one way or another...

*Dear jas...hope u dun feel PSed...ok??

Bz dAy!

2005-05-30T21:23:00.000-07:00

k here goes...i slept over at Jas's nouse yesterday...tok until 1 to 2 am...i forgot i had to go to sch the next day...i had to wake up at 7!!! Stupid APGP summation...the lecture started at 830 and ended at 12! i should have come at 11...coz the most impt part was towards the end AND i was already freaking half dead...so wads the point....seriuosly..im back to sq 1..still dunoe much abt summation...i brought my coffee bread into the LT,share with shar den the aRoMA SO strong pple behind asking each other issit coffee...duh..

k den we went lot 1...i ate at the new store..MY GOD... the sambal chilli chicken rice soooooooo freaking shiok...sooo spicy...the way i like it!

After dat we went to the pull up section...irene is soooooooo strong...she helped me with the push ups...i could do 3...but when i did it on my on...i just hang there

k nvm....it was chem spa! i was so lucky today...2 of the titration results were 20.50///wow...and there goes the most hated part of spa...CALCULATIONS...ok great i'm always failing and i dunoe wad to do... but this time...i did it...
ok la...was careless and realised i wrote the wrong sign...so Mr was like 500000...how do u get such heavy compounds hahahaha....but thx to shar for her guidence too !

den i went home...practice the piano...(cant believe it) and played 'everytime'...such a beautiful song...k wanna watch depo housewives soon with Jas...(she's gonna become one one day) (and she's rite beside me but i dun giva damn)

Uploaded

2005-05-29T01:35:00.000-07:00

guess wad..i studied today...(big deal ok)
yah....cant believe it rite...i also cannot believe it either...sat there for dunoe how many freaking hours doing STATISTICS....but eh quite fun wan u noe...if u noe how to do la...hmmm....din realise it was manageble..just sooooo LAZY to even think...its ok...i will stimulate my brain cells more often now...but seriously...using brain cells for organic chem is taxing...i'd prob use up 99 % after doing the whole tutorial....Oh btw.. im glad i dragged jasmine down to study with me...she has to thank me...hahhahah

Talked to many peeps i haven been talking for a while...missed them..(Pylos pple and thother OGLs...
really love those always there for me...you noe i noe we noe from the bottom of our hearts...RoCk On WiTh LiFe mAn

Cant wait for tml...i mean later in the day's hip hop class...gonna see u hip hop peeps on thursday man...i cant wait
hhhmmm guess thats about it today....nite ntie bloggie *yawn*

LaSt DaY oF ScHooL...well, sort of........

2005-05-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

Hehe...so harpi toDay...went out with Marina and Nurulia...iya...supposedly wanna go to Temasek Poly go see see Nur's sch...budden no time..ended up gong to Causeway Point...hee...So wasted... according to her alot of HG there...whoo hoo...lucky for her...Moved on without tt ASS...U go Gurl...such pple dun deserve u.. rock on! So we ate at MAC and took neo prints... there goes my money money...man..im broke...k la nvm...for my tummy i will sacrifice..=p

P.S. You're da best bro one could have...rock on dude
gtg study now...nite bloggie

Finally

2005-05-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

...I feel really proud of myself...
.... YOU only need to know why....YOU know who you are.

Crushed

2005-05-23T16:30:00.000-07:00

Hello bloggie, Hehe in a happy mood today... ate tim sum with family for lunch...YUM!!! iyah...but gotta go home after this...cannot go town with Nurulia and Regynna and Amanda....it'll be so fun... miss all of them..was really BORED and LAZY so i tried playing My Tourniquet on the piano...quite difficult to coordinate when i sing...k so...must practice more...i better get started with BIO HW!!! at 5 pm...haha,,dunoe how many times say this kinda thing also nvr work...

My Tourniquet
I tried to cure my pain
But only brought more (so much more)
I may die and i'm pouring crimson regrets and betrayal
I'm dying
Praying
Bleeding and
Screaming
Am i too lost to be saved? Am i too lost?

My God My Tourniquet
Return to me salvation

Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side?
or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying,
bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?Am I too lost?

My God My Tourniquet
Return to me Salvation

My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied ?
Christ
Tourniquet
My suicide

From HyBriD TheOrY

2005-05-23T01:25:00.000-07:00

What do I do to ignore them behind me,
Do I follow my instincts blindly
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening
Do I sit here and try to stand it
Or do I try to catch them red-handed
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness

Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again

If I turn my back I'm defenseless,
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on
Then they'll take from me till everything is gone
If I, let them go I'll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun
If I'm killed by the questions like a cancer,
Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer

How do you think I've lost so much
I'm so afraidThat I'm out of touch
How do you expec
tI will know what to do
When all I know is what you tell me to
Don't you [KNOW
]I can't tell you how to make it [GO]
No matter what I do,or how hard I [TRY]
I can't seem to convince myself [WHY]
I'm stuck on the outside

I can't hold on[To what I want when I'm stretched so thin]
It's all too much to take in
I can't hold on[To anything, watching everything spin]
With thoughts of failure sinking

Never a Substitude nor an Addition...Just a Subtraction

2005-05-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

Against My Solitude Tonight
Embrace The Soul's Highlight
Amongst The Silent Discretion
Convince Myself Lying In Incompletion

I could feel No comfort in whose arms
Holding me in weightless detail
My consolation, my yearning fails
These Provocations Pricks my Sanity

Perfections betray Like Hopes Deceive
Doubt my intentions and Resist
Find the Soul lying with Decease
Why I never Learn the Mistakes I Receive?

Drowned Myself Once Again
Seek my Agony for Fame
Hide your Assumptions with Shame
Dragging me Down to play such Foolish Games
Don’t Fix me, I’m not broken in my Name

Sinking Deep Deep Into These Waters
Twice and i find myself Falter
Understand What I Dun Reveal
Because I Misunderstand what they didnt Conceal

These Cuts They Bleed To Numbness
Fallen Altogether To Nothingness
Sleepless In Reality To Weariness
Throwing My Time Faraway But Still
Show Me A Place I Learn How To Feel

==>Together<==

2005-05-20T22:10:00.000-07:00

something just isnt right
i can feel it inside
the truth isnt far behind me
you cant deny

when i turn the lights out
when i close my eyes
reality overcomes me
im living a lie

This has gone on so long
I realise that i need
something good to rely on
something for me

Together
it doesnt feel right at all
Together
together we've built a wall
Together
hands will fall hands will fall

gIvE mE a brEaK...aLL i WaNnA do Is sLeeP

2005-05-20T21:50:00.000-07:00

Damn just passed my sleeping time...due to dinner...the food is so...i dun wanna tok abt it...haha...yes its THAT bad...lets see...oh ya our class celebrated mr tan's departure...by ordering pizza...soooo full..omg! i was the PIG who ate like 4 slices la! ahhahaa.....''the small gurl with the stomach of a big man''ewww sounds un right la, irene! hahha it was so cool...mr tan is such a traveler...wanna be like him...

My inflexibilities a product of my insecurities
Mmy gorgeously sappy head filled with curiosities
My simple paranoid mind diving into my own destruction
My naivety threatened by my own admission
My decision choking on all my contradictions
I find myself falling into a vortex of thoughts
Praying hard to runaway from these faults
Pulling away from the abyss of nolstagia
Bitingly self sardonic
Cynically ironic
Satirically pathetic
Plunging into a galaxy of mysteries
I'll let it flow
Right to the depts of my soul

A bRAnD nEw DaEee

2005-05-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

it was SPA today...i pray that i din screw up my experiment...i dun thk it'll be that bad coz i'm pretty glad i was calm n composed...i realise tt i can do practicals when i'm serious...but will nvr be able to in class coz of my crazy insane class...hahaha but love them though...gotta stay back for consultation with math teacher...it took 2 hours...i've gotten pathetic results for the last quiz...so i'd better make it up for the next test...which is TML!! and i'm not tt confident....but i'll do my best
Feel so good today...compared to yesterday...duh...like so up and about....put those troubles behind...live today like its my last (touch wood!) ahhaha...
Talked to Nurulia...so glad i did...and found out some interesting stuff...love ya gerl...thanks for the advices
Discovered some other interesting stuff from school...suddenly tot of lala...wonder how would it be like now...mixed feelings...
But i guess...we'll never know....i'll let things be as they are suppsoed to be...
k i better go n slp now...or esle i'll have to run to the gate again...not fun...always drenched with natural water in da mornin: rain or sweat..eww
gonna update my poem collection tml....till then, nite nite bloggie

walking away from all the mess

2005-05-18T20:36:00.000-07:00

Oh man...so damn tired today... skipped cca and slept the entire afternoon...so shiok la...hahaha...i wish i could stay like that forever...i've got SPA tml..not the one people get to relax... the one that does the opposite! Everyone seems to be in such a down mood...argh! i din expect life to be so tough now..i'd rather keep myself occupied but its getting me so... i dun even know what the hell am i doing ...anyways, poem time!!

Darkened are these skys of Grey
Susceptible of a heart to stray
The 'list' of collections, I cannot process
Sweetness lingered on, I must confess

Drowning in my crimson regrets
Suffocated by the smokes of a cigarette
Forgotten and simple to dismiss
Broken words seem so true to insist

Dragging me down to deception
Little can insecuriteis do to suspicion
Not knowing who'd give an indication
Guide my way back to salvation

Empty promises locked in my mind
Causes of distrust i cannot find
Frozen inside once again feeling so cold
Bleeding wounds hurt and becoming old

Beyond pain can define
Numb and shivering in the rain
Beyond words can describe
Fear and defence caught up in vain

Forgotten by Avril...

2005-05-18T09:15:00.000-07:00

I'm giving up on everything
Because you messed me up
Don't know how much you screwed it up
You never listened
That's just too bad
Because I'm moving on
I won't forget
You were the one that was wrong
I know I need to step up and be strong
Don't patronize me
Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted
Do you forget it now
You never got it
Do you get it now
Gotta get away
There's no point in thinking about yesterday
It's too late now
It won't ever be the same
We're so different
I know I wanna run away I know I wanna run away
Run away
If only I could run away If only I could run away
Run away
I told you what I wanted
I told you what I wanted
What I wanted
But I was forgotten
I won't be forgotten
Never again!!!!
Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted
Do you forget it now
You never got it
Do you get it now
Do you get it now
Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted
Do you forget it now
You never got it
Do you get it now
Have you Forgotten
Do you forget it now
Forgotten Yeah yeah yeah
Forgotten Yeah yeah yeah
Forgotten Yeah yeah yeah
Forgotten Yeah yeah yeahhh